Identity Vocabulary: Nonbinary Edition

8/14/2019

The nonbinary community is a branch of the trans community that is often less known among members of the queer community. Here’s a few of the most common nonbinary identities:

1. Nonbinary/Genderqueer
(noun)

An umbrella term for identities that include any gender outside of strictly or completely Male or Female.
A less specific gender identity other than Male or Female.

Nonbinary and Genderqueer are both umbrella terms for people who identify as not strictly Male or Female. A Nonbinary or Genderqueer person might feel both Male and Female, neither Male or Female, partially Male, partially Female, etc. Other slang words for Nonbinary are nb and enby.

2. Agender
(noun)

An identity that describes someone without gender or who does not relate to either binary gender.

Agender people do not identify with being Male or Female in any amount whatsoever. Agender people often use the They/Them pronoun set.

3. Androgyne/Bigender
(noun)

An identity that describes someone who identifies with both Male and Female genders. They do not necessarily identify with both equally, but always identify with both and only Male and Female.

Androgyne and Bigender people identify with both of the binary genders. They might relate to both equally, or might favor one over the other. Androgyne and Bigender people often use the They/Them set of pronouns, both He/Him and She/Her sets, or They/Them, He/Him, and She/Her sets.

4. DemiMale/DemiBoy/DemiMan/DemiGuy, etc.
(noun)

An identity that describes someone who identifies with both Male and Agender genders. They do not necessarily identify with both equally, but always identify with both and only Male and Agender.

DemiMales partially identify with being Male, and partially identify with being Agender. They might relate to both equally, or might favor one over the other. DemiMales often use the The/Them and He/Him pronoun sets.

5. DemiFemale/DemiGirl/DemiWoman/DemiGal, etc.
(noun)

An identity that describes someone who identifies with both Female and Agender genders. They do not necessarily identify with both equally, but always identify with both and only Female and Agender.

DemiFemales partially identify with being Female, and partially identify with being Agender. They might relate to both equally, or might favor one over the other. DemiFemales often use the The/Them and She/Her pronoun sets.

6. Genderfluid
(noun)

An identity that describes someone whose gender changes over time. They don’t necessarily experience all genders the same amount or spend the same amount of time as every gender, but experience all genders at different times.

A common misconception is that Genderfluid is a gender in and of itself. However, Genderfluid is not actually a gender but rather a descriptor to use instead of a gender, as someone who is Genderfluid has a gender that changes over time.

In other words, Genderfluid isn’t a standalone gender. Genderfluid is a label that describes a gender that changes over time. As an example, a Genderfluid person might feel Female one day, then Male another day, then Agender the day after that. Genderfluid people often use the They/Them pronoun set, or all of the They/Them, He/Him, and She/Her sets.

***

Please keep in mind that this is not an exhaustive list. There are many other less common and more specific Nonbinary identities. These are just some of the most common ones.

The pronouns listed here for each gender identity are a generalization. Many nonbinary people use nonstandard pronouns or neopronouns, such as the Xe/Xem or Ze/Hir sets. (As always with pronouns, the best way to find out the pronoun set a person uses is just to ask.)

about the Author

Calistos “Cal” Nicolas Dupraw is a 19-year-old Atheistic Satanist, Transmasc Genderflux, Omnisexual, Panromantic individual born and raised in Bakersfield, California. They have been involved in the queer community from a very early age through family, friends, school, and online communities, and started attending The Center for Sexuality and Gender Diversity in January 2019. Their hobbies include table top role playing games (TTRPGs), cosplay, drawing, leather working, participation in The Society for Creative Anachronism (The SCA), fashions, learning, character design, and world building.

47 Comments

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are made possible thanks to our awesome team! Valerie Urso, Content Marketing Manager, and The Center's volunteer bloggers. To join the team, or to share your feedback or ideas please email the team at blog@thecenterbak.org

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4/13/2021 02:28:31 pm

I am just so happy that you guys are doing this especially in bakersfield california I live here and it is a very homophobic at school and other places in my opinion and I finally came out last year and it feels so nice and I educate people about trump,abortion,lgbtq+ia

Eleanore

5/4/2022 06:53:37 pm

I am so sorry you have to go through that! I hope that you know that there are people out there who will love and support you!🌈❤

Semia

2/12/2023 12:15:59 am

Aw. Me, too. I'm glad you came out, tho. It's so freeing, isn't it? Hehe. I'm so happy for you.

An Androgyne/Bigender bitch

6/13/2023 03:13:15 pm

O.M.G same! I grew up being LGBTQIA. Everyone was either fascinated or disgusted by me, because of that I hadn't come out to my parents until almost a year of dating the same gender.

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8/4/2022 01:33:42 pm

That sucks

2/12/2023 12:16:44 am

Hehe yeah.

Prince

6/9/2021 07:08:39 am

Appreciate that you wrote this article, but I highly advise you to take down most/ all of the content. Many of the information is wrong/ harmful. For example, demiboy absolutely does NOT mean half male half agender. Also, the pronouns are completely wrong. Pronouns do not equal gender. By saying " most () use they/them " etc is very harmful as it enforces the stereotype that you use certain pronouns when you are a certain gender. Please get your facts right before writing another article.

Tuff

9/26/2021 08:31:24 pm

As an active member in r/demiboy I can vouch that demiboy/demigirl isn't always part agender. The other part can be any gender, or nothing at all. It really just means a partial connection to manhood/womanhood. A lot of people use demiboy interchangeably with masc-alinged enby, although if you take the definition seriously this isn't technically true. A masc-aligned enby may not feel any connection to manhood, which is actually why I'm probably changing to that as my label but that's besides the point.

Harl

3/23/2022 02:22:47 am

Thanks Tuff. I agree with most of what you said there.

archer

4/7/2022 03:50:57 am

I agree with TUFF,this article is spreading misinformation.As a demigirl myself,I can say that to be demigirl is to be part female and part a diffrent gender or no gender,It isn't always Agender that demigirls and demiboys Identify with.

Makayla

6/22/2022 08:49:20 pm

Really? Ah, thank you so much! I’m currently on a journey to figure out my gender identity and I’m pretty certain it’s a mix of mostly female and part male. I figured that would be what demigirl is, but everywhere I look, it’s described as half female half agender. So now I’ve been looking everywhere for something else to match how I feel and I was starting to give up hope that I would ever find it. So thank you again for this!😊

Cade

7/27/2022 03:59:33 pm

@Makayla

You might be bigender , go check it out! And of your not, no worrys i just hope you find a title that fits you!

Sincerly, Cade

Katie

6/22/2021 07:09:36 pm

Thank you for this! It helped explain this to me better and now I feel more comfortable with calling myself a demigirl. It helps a lot and it also helps me with explaining it to my family as well.

Lock

7/19/2021 11:59:29 am

I really love that this is here! Thanks for helping me learn about the LGBTQIA+ community.

liam

8/13/2021 04:54:25 am

so what if I was demienby, and still attached to my sex at birth. Would that mean I could go by she/her and they/them and still be demienby, or something else?? I'm confused :')

eli

8/16/2021 08:22:15 pm

so i use she/they pronouns but wasn’t sure what i would really identify as and i was told to research demigirl. from what i’ve seen, it suits me the best and those pronoun sets are in fact used by many demigirls. i hope this helped :)

Ali

2/26/2022 06:35:05 am

If you feel DemiEnby but want to use different pronouns that’s entirely okay! Genders don’t have pronouns attached to them, so use whatever you want! If you want to use She/They but still feel Partially Non-binary, go at it! Whatever makes you comfortable. I hope this helps,

2/26/2022 06:31:01 am

Well, technically A Demiboy/Demigirl feels partially like a boy/girl and partially another gender. This gender doesn't have to be agender, for me it’s non-binary. And Agender doesn’t just mean they don’t feel man or woman, it’s feeling not gender. Also, putting pronouns for each gender isn’t the best thing to do, since it’s assigning each gender pronouns, when a Demigirl could use he/him pronouns, or a non-binary could use she/her. Also, a Bigender person doesn’t have to be a mix of male and female, it could be any two genders. Please research places like A Gender Wiki or ask people who identify with that gender, especially before posting misconceptions on a page made for LGBTQIA+ Genders and Sexualitys.

3/23/2022 02:25:54 am

Thanks, Ali. I totally agree with that.

Megara

7/3/2022 11:21:00 am

"Also, putting pronouns for each gender isn’t the best thing to do, since it’s assigning each gender pronouns..." -- Ali

Yes! Thank you for saying this! I use multiple sets of pronouns: they/them; I have found a neopronoun that really feels like me (fae/faer/faers/faerself), but it's so unusual that I would feel strange saying "refer to me this way" because it's a whole new pronoun set people would need to learn, neopronouns seem to often just be a "thing of the Internet" so to speak, but at the same time, is it too much to ask people to try to respect me and my pronouns? Especially if I tell them I will help them if they forget? ("It helps to remember that fae/faer rhymes with much of the they/them pronouns set" or whatever).

I mean, my parents gave me an unusual name (Megara) and I hate when people just call me "Meg" when I always introduce myself saying "I know my name is unusual. I will never be offended if you need to ask me to remind you how it's pronounced." So is it too much to ask people to use fae/faer if I promise I won't get offended if they need help remembering it?

So often people speak of "preferred" pronouns. I speak against "preferred pronouns"; these are my pronouns--they're not a preference. They're my pronouns. Period. End of story. Ya know?

2/11/2023 11:27:02 pm

Well, that last part's not actually true. I agree with you mostly though. But it's just a pet peeve of mine when people use the wrong pronouns for themselves. Now bare with me - I'm not being biased or anything. I'm a Demigirl, too. But "he/him" means male. And "she/her" means female. And if they do not identify as female, and I mean at all, not even a little bit, then they can't use the female pronouns. And the same goes for if they aren't male, they can't use the male pronouns, because they mean male. And I identify as both female and nonbinary, too. It's just, they're not assigning pronouns to the genders, they're assigned by the English language. That's all I wanted to say. But neopronouns do work, and I do like them. In fact, I just recently came up with some - "shey/shem", "hey/hem", "shey/hem", and "hey/shem". Demigirl, demiboy, some mixture of female, male, and nonbinary/agender with more female than male, and some mixture of male, female, and nonbinary/agender with more male than female. In that order. So the first one's Demigirl, the second one's demiboy, and so on, so forth. If you like them, tell me. I'd really like to know.

Grayson

3/19/2022 07:05:30 pm

hcdejhcr I thought I may identify as demiboy but I still have no clue-- like, I like being a female, but I like masculine terms. Does that just make me Cisgender with a preference of masculine terms? Or does it change my gender completely? Because my prefered pronouns are He/Her/It, and its been like this for awhile--

3/23/2022 03:20:35 am

You can very well identify as demimale or demifemale and still be fine with whatever pronouns you like. It really just depends on how YOU feel about yourself and what you're most comfortable with - no matter whether other people actually perceive you as a certain gender most of the time or not.
Just as well, if you're mostly comfortable being female, but sometimes prefer to use masculine pronouns and don't mind being perceived as male, then you could identify as demifemale, or queer, or you could even say it's something you're thinking about if your people are open-minded enough for a discussion.

There are plenty of people who are most often not perceived the way they think of themselves (not just in terms of genders, but that as well).
Everyone is free to change over time for whatever reasons.

Also, you don't necessarily have to tell everyone all the details of the complexity of how you feel about yourself, especially if you're unsure about your gender (and maybe your sex and/or your sexuality too), so that it doesn't make you feel uneasy communicating with them.
As demimale who often feels female (or the other way around), you're not even lying if you just tell most people you're female to be done with it.

Those who truly care about you will do so either way.

2/11/2023 11:50:35 pm

I agree with that. And I like that. And I just wanna clarify - if you mostly consider yourself a Demigirl, but then sometimes you feel like a boy, then that's perfectly fine, and then it's perfectly fine to use male pronouns, too. Whatever makes you comfortable in your own skin. And I agree. If someone loves you, they'll be fine with it either way, and they'll use the right pronouns for you either way. And I just wanna say, I'm trying to say this in the nicest way possible.

Les

4/19/2022 01:01:05 am

People are people,why do we need labels?

Ella

4/23/2022 07:58:18 am

because some people like to be labeled. i personally prefer to label myself. "people are people" yes and we are all different. majority of people like to label themselves to feel more comfortable. labels can be extremely important.

2/12/2023 12:20:34 am

And right? Hehe. I agree with you. My dad doesn't. He doesn't like labels. I do.

2/12/2023 12:18:03 am

My dad agrees with you. I don't.

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Pat Christie

1/22/2023 12:18:42 pm

Who cares Cal? Are you expecting a parade to celebrate your labels? Get up, go to work, go home, like the rest of us and stop posting.

2/11/2023 11:59:50 pm

You need to be more respectful. Lots of people post their pronouns. And it's a good thing. And I personally like it. I am glad that they do. I'm proud of it, and them. Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that no one else does. So you're the one who needs to stop posting, not them. Get lost.

kai

1/24/2023 06:33:56 pm

Yall need to be more supportive, im still figuring out my sexuality and this has helped alot. even if this did not help you, that doesnt mean you can talk down on people for trying to help others, or say that their articals suck. And also, Pat Christie, there IS a parade for this, and many of what it does IS a job, so shut up and be nice

2/12/2023 12:03:03 am

Haha. Perfect. And I know, right?

Devan

3/16/2023 02:59:48 am

Kai,
I just recently dove very deep into my mind to figure all of this sexuality and gender business. I was born a male, and I’m still a male appearance-wise. I cut my hair short, wear men’s clothing, the whole thing.. But do you ever really listen to the voice that speaks in your mind when you are thinking about something. Well, I listened to that voice - and it turns out that my innermost thoughts “mind-voice” is a female. So technically my “inner-voice” is an extremely feminine girl.
Figuring that out put a whole new world of perspectives in front of me. I’ve come to find that many gender roles are vague enough to fit into my unique personality. But I continued doing research, determined to find a gender that I could identify with and feel comfortable and confident in my gender-roll. I’m a male - but I’m gay, hyperfeminine, I’m a strict bottom, and I sound, look, and act exactly like my Mother - and she’s the definition of a cisgender heterosexual female.
I finally found my gender - and perhaps it’s relatively new as I hadn’t heard of it . But I’m what you would call OFF-GENDERED. To be more specific, I am an OFFGIRL - meaning that I was born male, and still claim to be a male; but I identify as a female. Everything about me is a girl - my inner voice is a woman’s voice, and I’m only attracted to masculine men. Everything, except my outward appearance, is feminine (and sometimes I cross the line and dress a little fem). If you met me - you’d probably detect my GIRLISH CHARM almost immediately. All that is what makes me an Off-girl. And the opposite calls themselves an Off-boy.. But the umbrella term, for anyone who may find themselves in a similar dilemma, is Off-gendered. Perhaps start your research using the umbrella term, “Off-gendered”. That way you can make your own decision about who you are and what you would like to be called. My pronouns are she/her -and/or- he/him. Most people use the feminine pronouns when talking to me, or about me… lol

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